Wednesday, July 4, 2012

CAYA; Pagans, Patriots, and the Promise of a God-fearing Nation (ATTENTION - 9:00pm start time)

Dear Lost Souls,

Happy Independence Day!
With the rockets’ red glare, a hotdog in hand, and our nation’s capital about to spontaneously burst into flame, it is time to celebrate the anniversary of our great nation’s fiery birth in the crucible of hard-won liberty. It was on this day, oh-so-many years ago that, with the help of a few humble fisherman, Jesus Christ and the founding disciples crossed the mighty Delaware River to sign the ten commandments and declare our independence from those Cheeky Englishman; prompting Paul Revere’s fateful ride, to brave the shadow of British tyranny, and deliver us from another six weeks of winter.

While subsequent generations faced the sometimes formidable task of liberating and protecting God’s chosen land from the pagan agendas of heathens, infidels, and ‘natives’ who were incapable of understanding the simple majesty of Manifest Destiny, we eventually persevered, triumphing over mountain, river, and forest . . . digging deep into the earth's bowels to free God’s bounty . . . paving over wetland and prairie to provide convenient vehicular access to the shopping malls and drive throughs that pump their life-giving commerce through the cholesterol clogged veins of red-blooded American consumerism.

But, stay vigil my fellow Americans! Despite the unfettered fossil-fueled glory that our nation has enjoyed, our enemies lie in wait.  Progressive anarchists, climate-obsessed bohemians, and those unfortunates whom the Lord did not grant the benediction of being born within our cosmically ordained borders, raise the evil specter of their socialist and egalitarian agendas. They threaten to slow the oil-soaked wheels of righteous capitalistic glory, undermine the sanctity of proprietary-based marriage, regulate the whims of the world-saving selfless investment banker, and deny our downtrodden corporate citizens their God-given right to a political voice proportional (only) to the size of their hard-earned wealth. There is no sleep for the weary.

Yes, my Postmodern Patriots, Cocktail Hour is on for this Friday evening. We will be opening the gates a bit later than usual, at 9:00pm, to facilitate our attendance at the Oakland Art Murmur. We invite you to join us for a stroll through the galleries at the Murmur before heading back to the Haberdashery’s Hallowed Hall to hoist a chalice in honor of 236 years of flawless adherence to Judeo-Christian values. As always, we invite you to stop by for a quickie en route to your primary revolution . . . or to linger indefinitely.

Yours,
Los Cabañero

P.S. This week's Haberdashery Flashback takes us back to July 5th, 2001; Independence Day!
P.S.S. Be sure to visit the CAYA blog, and register your email for updates: http://caya20.blogspot.com/


The Haberdashery is located at:
2124 5th Street
Berkeley, CA 94710
T: 510.229.2970

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