Come As You Are - Santa is a Ho

Come on!

The truth shines bright as driven snow!

He spreads good cheer wher'ever he goes

All decked in red and trimmed in white

He's dressed for Love on Christmas night

With Rudolph's nose to guide his sleigh

A bright Red Light to lead the way

He won't take cash to pay the bill

With milk and cookies he gets his fill

No need to tell the girls and boys

About the Tart who brings their toys

But don't pretend YOU didn't know

That Old Saint Nick is just a Ho

Yes, my Irreverent Revelers, Cocktail Hour is on for this week, and you are invited once again to come bask in the warm glow of low expectations. Depending on the International Travel Gods, this could be the last Cocktail Hour of 2003. But don't forget: You get a clean slate on January 1st! . . . so you only have a couple of weeks to heap on the misbehavin'!! . . . and, as always, the Haberdashery is there to support your efforts. We'll have hot drinks, cold drinks and Holiday munchies to put you in the spirit . . . and Alaskan Martinis; just for Dolge. Our helpful elves will do their best to see to all your temporal needs. Cocktails will be served at 7:30pm. We know it is a busy season for our clan, but please remember to hoist a glass in our direction wherever you may be . . . and we will do the same. As always, please feel free to stop by for a quickie en route to your chosen Yule Tide venue . . . or to linger indefinitely.

Yours,

Greg

PS: Brother can you spare a Finn? - While our regularly scheduled Finns, Minna and Timppa, will not be out of town and unavailable this Friday, we have flown in replacement Finns to fill the gap . . . what's a party without a Finn! . . . we're always watching out for you Cats!

Come As You Are - All Yule Tied Up?

Dear Lost Souls,

Well the Haberdashery's halls are decked with balls and folly. And what better reason to gather our very merry band than in the spirit of holiday fellowship . . . and conspicuous consumption.

Yes, my Decorated Denizens, Cocktail Hour is on for this week, and as an extra special treat, we will be hosting Ma and Pa Delaune who are visiting from the Great White Nort' (Minnesoooota). In the spirit of the region and to help celebrate the season, we will be featuring brightly colored Alaskan Martinis, sure to warm you from the tip of your Nome to the bottom of your Anchorage. There will also be Hot Spiced Cider and other treats to ease you into disorientation. Our helpful guides will be on hand to see to any and all of the balance your needs.

Cocktails will be served at 7:30pm. We know it is a busy season for our clan, but please remember to hoist a glass in our direction wherever you may be . . . and we will do the same. As always, please feel free to stop by for a quickie en route to your chosen Yule Tide venue . . . or to linger indefinitely.

Yours,

Greg

Come As You Are - Kneedeep in the Glög

Dear Löst Söls,

So we find ourselves knee deep in this joyous holiday season. Parties abound and visions of sugar plums dance in your little heads . . . who the hell dreams about sugar plums? I'm not even sure what a sugar plum is. Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Yes, my festive friends, Cocktail Hour is on for this Friday evening and you are invited to indulge in a moment of pause from your busy holiday schedule to bask in the mellow glow of Haberdashery hospitality. And though the weather outside is frightful . . . as a special treat this week our Finnish friends and neighbors will be providing us with vats of Glög; a hot wine concoction sure to warm you from head to toe. Glög is apparently a Finnish specialty enjoyed throughout the Höliday season . . . or a clever ruse to möck their American hösts . . . we'll see. Either way, after a you slög back a couple Glögs, yö'll be speaking Finnish like a Lapish reindeer! För the less daring amöng you, ör cadre of skilled alchemists will be ön hand to ply their trade at ör liquid looms. Cöcktails will be served at 7:30pm. As always, please feel free to stöp by for a quickie en röte to your chösen Friday venue . . . ör to linger indefinitely under ör canöpy of löw expectations.

Yörs,
Greg

Come As You Are - Holiday Cocktail Holiday

Dear Lost Souls,

halloweenthanksgivingchristmasnewyears is in full swing. Ready for spring yet? How about a cocktail before round two kicks in? Well, the good news is that the Mardi Gras party season officially starts the day after New Years . . . tick tock, here comes the party! Yes, my holiday heroes, Cocktail Hour is on for this Friday night. Brother Billy will not be joining us as he will be en route to the Southern Hemisphere as an ambassador of Haberdashery good will, but we must endeavor to persevere in his absence. Many of you will be jetting off to parts unknown starting in the next few days . . . myself included . . . so this may be a good opportunity to hoist one in the name of . . . awe fuckit . . . just stop by for a cocktail if you're in the neighborhood!

Yours,

Greg

Come As You Are - Pyramids 101

“I love the friends I have assembled on this thin raft

they have constructed pyramids in honor of our escaping.”

-Jim Morrison

Dear Lost Souls,

Week 46; Day 317, 48 Left.

 . . . they march by as an outline for our lives and we are left to fill in the colors of our days . . . whether it be with inspired brilliance or idle prattle. I offer you prattle!!

Yes, my Mystic Malcontents, Cocktail Hour is on for this Friday evening. We invite you to escape your midweek responsibilities as Contributors under the spotlight of authority to come join our ragtag assemblage of raft riders for another evening of sanctuary in the dimmer glow of Haberdashery hospitality. Cocktails will be served beginning at 7:30pm; when our tireless alchemists will be pedaling their looms to spin golden dreams born of your idle whims. Whims will also be provided upon request. Your weekend begins at the top of the stairs. As always, please feel free to stop by for a quickie en route to your chosen Friday venue . . . or to linger indefinitely . . . indubitably . . . and irresponsibly in the low expectations of your Last Resort.

Yours,

Greg

Come As You Are – Novembrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Dear Lost Souls,

I don't know about you Cat's, but I' been freezin' my patushka off!But worry not! I've devised a recipe for our collective warmth:

The Haberdashery Hot Toddy

-    Preheat Haberdashery with candles and care

-    Pour in equal parts HeWhos and SheWhos

-    Add Martinis and/or other cocktails to taste

-    Fold in liberal amounts of relaxation

-    Stir in continuous variety of music

-    Drop in a dollop of something unexpected . . .

-    and massage mixture slowly as evening progresses

-    Distribute liberally

. . . that's the ticket!

Yes, my chilly Haberdites, Cocktail Hour is on for this Friday evening . . . and after a disorienting one week hiatus, you are invited to resume our weekly constitution in the radiant warmth of an alternate son. Come slip out of the constricting mantel of your weekly uniform and bask in the familiar glow of low expectations. The Last Resort's Cabana boys will be serving you up their special brand of alchemy under the canopy of your drowsy whims. Sunglasses are optional. Cocktails will be served at 7:30pm. As always, please feel free to stop by for a quickie en route to your chosen Friday venue . . . or to linger indefinitely.

Yours,
Greg